when we can take all that energy and go do something worthwhile with it.
it takes courage to walk away before you’re forced to get out.
Haven’t wrote in a while. a lot has been going on. only a lot in my mind since i seem to exaggerate life a bit. but can you blame me for being this way? look at where i came from. i guess i wouldn’t blame my that either. well… no reason to be bitter or point any fingers at anyone. i turned out pretty damn well. i was raised well. everyone i have ever encountered has treated me with the utmost respect and care, even the people i unfortunately was not able to see eye to eye with. i love everyone. i love everyone that i have ever encountered. it’s not always easy showing/telling someone you love them. which can make a big difference.
I wish I could say I was done loving or done trying… Everything happens so unexpectedly that u can never stop doing something… It would throw everything off…
i do realize that there are a lot of people out there who would kill to have the freedom that I have. the independence. the privileges. the mindset. the strength. the ambition. the desires. i have it all and for that i am greatly thankful, though i may not show it. im always wanting more, expecting more like the spoiled human that i am. spoiled by the universe and by God. i am thankful.
i dislike being all sappy. i hate to be all emotionally overwhelmed but i’m human and it happens naturally. it shows i have a warm, living heart… a heart that beats. a heart the pumps blood through my body. a heart that God has given me so i can live.
sometimes i think about my past and i’m am thankful it doesn’t haunt me like it does other people. love, family, friends, tragedies… all dead and gone…
i love my best friend, cause she does not judge me…
part of me never wants to get close to anyone cause i’m afraid they are going to leave… i anticipate it, but it still hurts as if I had never knew of such thing because it happens so unexpectedly…
i know we all fall short of getting sad when something doesn’t go our way… im more likely to cry and beg as if my life is being threatened. its just i cant stand to be in this shitty mood i seem to be permanently in… its like i need some kind of substance to keep me distracted… i really do hate this never ending sadness… i cant seem to escape it…
